♣DreAmS&FanTaSiEs™♠

2010-04-25T02:52:00.002+08:00

I need to let out this expression of mine... So i guess this is the best place....

I just have no idea why am i feeling like this... Its like a feeling of unfairness... I thought relationship is abt trust. So i trust her abt my secrets and my past.... But why cant she be the same way... The more painful thing is that she keep saying 'nutin' when theres something to continue abt... its been 2 days straight that she did this... ARGH ! ! ! ! ! !

I really tried to control this but its really hard for me to do so.... its been while since i had this feeling... This time i tried to keep it to myself.. But for how long?
hope this ends soon or im going to explode...

2009-10-09T04:15:00.005+08:00

Hello again... This is the longest so far that i haven't been updating my blog.. hmm... how long is it?? around 10 months... hahahahaha....... Alot of things had happened to my during this past months...

Just dun noe where to start.... let me see...

First of all.. ive been single for ard 6 months now... Ok thats a long story... and i would like to keep it to myself...

I got myself another part time job at AKLTG as a TA which lasted for less than 1 month during the school break... its fun being the 'DJ'. Most of my post is with the Primary school kids.... which was really fun to be with... Its ok with the sec school too except Monfort... no offence.. It SUPPOSED to be a school with discipline.. but i dun see any of that for both 2 days... There i was being so tired and lack of sleep as i need to wake up at 5 and reach home at 8 plus hang ard with the guys at nite... And not forgetting abt my job at ikea during weekends... Oh I am Still working at ikea for those ppl who wanna know...

Hmmm school... Well i passed all my repeated module and now i need to repeat this last module... well for me its a suprised for me to repeat on 1 module... In semester 3.1 i was supposed to take my MP/SIP.. but i didnt cause my CU were short my 1 pathetic point... So i have to take my elective subject which is robotics... I could tell u that those 3 subjects were really hard... And the lecturer even say that one of it is an UNI standard module... try to think how tough is that... most of us taking were like OMG we are just poly student... for me im thinking ITS THE END for me... but its a miracle that i pass that module.. haha.... Now im waiting for any news about my MP/SIP group and project... ARGH im really lost.....

Hmm about me... Where should i start.?? well i have got myself a bike.. YES ! ! A BIKE ! ! ! Its a X-1 110 cc bike... Got it with part of my bursary money.. And i have to pay the installment every month... Well seriously thats nothing to boast about actually..Only my frens and some of me cousins knows about it...

I have not been playing soccer for a while now.... But i pick up a new sport.. Sepak takraw... Its kinda hard to play but im giving it my best.. I twisted my elbow yesterday... and yes it really hurts... haha.. but still doing my handspring... Yes i am crazy.. And NO i dun want to lost my hand.... haha.....

This is a picture taken during hari raya outing with frens and its everyones favourite picture... Well raya felt pretty boring this yr.. which i dunnoe y.... Hmm we still got 2 weeks of raya to go...

OK as usual i end this post with the sad part of my life...

Seriously i have bee thinking alot lately about life... About owing someone which i did not do.. and also my love life.. I am really afraid to love again... Due to wat happen 6 months ago... Even though i like that someone.. It seems that my heart dont want to make the first move... I noe that she will be taken by someone else if dont make the move... But i cant do anything.... And i dont like to compete for someone... But my only hope is, if she feels the same way as me and understands me, she will wait for me till im ready..

I guess thats the end of my post since my elbow is killing me plus im sleepy... i try to update the rest of the things happening for the past 10 months and also the present...

2008-12-12T11:05:00.002+08:00

I just dont noe what to do... my life is a mess... finally after term test and i start to remember the feeling the hurt in me... I wanted to trust her but she just dont let to... she doesnt trust me??? well i have no idea what ive done.... maybe studying at nite is a wrong thing to do to her... but i guess going out late at nite partying is a right thing to do... shes trying to blame me for going out at nite... but what did i do?? i just went studying with my frens.... by doing that, she things that im forgetting abt her and enjoying myself... and she got pissed by that.... Well ya... is studying last min enjoying??? she hates me doing that.. but what about her going out at nite?? i can accept the fact that she got most or maybe all guy frens... cant she just understands how i feel? didnt call, msg me even when she got home.... and she got pissed with me calling her "frens" to noe where she gone to... great huh... i think half of the guys has already given up being with her... but me, i am still with her cause i love her... cant she appreciate that... some times i have to be alone at nite, maybe for a smoke to let go all of the negative stuff happening to me... I wonder how many guys has she be going out with or meeting since im with her... my guess.. ALOT...

I got alot to type here but the sadness is too much for me to control.... guess maybe another time... bye now...

2008-12-01T15:19:00.002+08:00

Welcome to the month of december... Lets hope that everything will be enjoying everyday..

Well for the past month, ive been feeling moody almost everday and i dun noe what cause it?
I just felt useless... What i want is to see her leading a good life... and to fulfill her promised...Is it hard? Ive been thinking about it... she had broken 3 of the same promise.. and she has just broken one more... Maybe that promise is too much for her.. maybe i just have to forget the promise that she made to me.... What am i anyway, Im just a stupid, crazy guy and cant afford to buy her happiness.... What am i to do anyway, I guess she had her own source of happiness for others than me.... Having lots of guy frens... going out with them.... with free transportation and all sorts of stuff... Sometimes she really makes me think if Im the one for her?? or maybe does she really cares abt who am I to her?? Haizzz.. want to last with her... but does she wants it to be the same? Alot of questions so little time....

Ill be going off to school now....

I hope she understand my feelings towards her...

2008-11-23T01:27:00.002+08:00

Month Of NOVEMBER and this is my first update...

Well I miss the update on my bdae which is on the 6th.... HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO ME ! !...

What else?? hmmm.... life been boring... school quizes work... in recovery.. haizzz... actually i have alot to update.. but i just forget what is it.. hahax.. well untill i remember.. bye now...

2008-10-15T20:38:00.002+08:00

Long time no updates.. hahax... Getting abit lazy to updates nowadays...

Its Hari Raya this month... I would like to wish everyone Selamat hari Raya Aidilfitri... Harap maaf jikalau tersilap segaler bender lah ekh.. hahax...

School reopening soon... But time table hasnt come out yet... Wat to prepare? hmm NOTHING ! ! Im not ready for school yet.... I have no mood to go to school after wat i got for the results.. haizzzz.......

Well wat had happen had past.. I just need to accept the fact...

Few days left to school... and Few weeks for ehemm hahax.....

2008-09-26T23:55:00.002+08:00

Almost a month now that i didnt update this.. Has been very lazy lately.. which i dunnoe y... Well recently out of comp for a few days... Taking care of someone who is warded.. and now at home...

Almost at the End of fasting month... Hari raya coming soon.. but i dun think it will be the same as the past yrs.... well just dunnoe wat to say now...

Next updates will be a long one i hope..

2008-08-29T00:25:00.002+08:00

Back here with nutin to do... i was just thinking of sumtin lately..

Sumtin really bothers me.. i have never felt like this before.. this pain, this sorrow.

Who am I in life?

Well for me i feel that im just a useless, pathetic and irritating guy... Being with someone feels like im really bothering her life. like im ruining her life...

I also felt left out... Alot of things/ problems that are kept secret from me. Its only been a few days and i have alot to think about. Shall not elaborate bout that.. i just need to get even with life.. Maybe this is just to test my patience.. I hope...

This is really a stupid updates but.. WHAT THE HELL! ! ! !

2008-08-11T01:04:00.000+08:00

Some random update that is from my heart...

2008-08-09T02:05:00.002+08:00

First update in the months of august...

Hmmm its 9th August... Its a birthday date... its not just a person with birthday but also country... So A very Happy Birthday Singapore and happy national day... okok cut that crap...

Well its an holiday for most of us... and its the time to celebrate... but for me.. this celebration is really bored... Well i cant go out to see the parade as im working... But then again who wants to go out with me anyways... My frens.. hmm.. doing their own stuff... going out with their "friends".. So its better off for me to work maybe alone... haizzz...

What the hell going on with me?? I felt really... lonely... People say that i got frens and families ard me.. but where are they? Frens.. hmm... what are frens? izzit just a person that we find when they are bored? Or someone that they can make fun off?? Well thats happening to me... Or maybe i just dont have any frens at all...

Im really trying hard to change my way of life to be closer to my "frens" but wats the use... Im not happy changing.. Doing so just make me err.. not me... I wish someone would me.. just plain me... i just want to be who i want to be.. Thats all.. i want to be happy.. not just taking people orders...

So far not even a soul really understands me and the way i feel... tried talking to my parents but they just wont listen to me... frens? i dun have any real frens anyway.... so talking to them is such a waste of breath.... Not to mention the gerl of my dreams.. Well theres no one actually... not one gerl in this world that can proof to me that they are sincere in loving... If they have problems with sincerity, will there any trustworthy in them? So far none has came across that....

I hope one day it will change.... I hope one day people will feel wat i felt.. its not a curse. its just to let them know how it feels like... How to live in my reality... A place where im living in at this moment...

2008-07-26T01:26:00.002+08:00

I just reached home now rite after waiting for atleast 2 hours at hougang and also went for a very late dinner....

Ferst thing to say is, i really need to improve my driving... still much to learn....

Today.. hmm i mean yesterday, went to school as per normal in the morning... Finish up 2 assignments in 2 hours... Went for training but end up theres no one in greenview... WTH! ! its like no one inform me that...

Thinking of walking at pasir ris park but chage of mind... Went to Serangoon to meet Ct and her brother... Well its my ferst time going to her place and missed the stop im supposed to alight... So have to walk back... hahax... Well theres alot of "AAHH!!??!!" since Ct cant hear that well just now.. hahax... But it turn out great just lepak-ing... Btw Nice to meet u... Next appointment Next friday... hahax.. cant wait for it... See u again then...

Well now im really sleepy... need to wake early tmrw... Almost forget... Happy bdae to my brother too.... celebrating it today... hahax.. ok bye now....

Why do you sent me that email? What does that mean?

2008-07-20T23:43:00.002+08:00

For today, it turns out well in the beginning... Play soccer, went to the beach for some fun with families from my moms side... Then went to work... Someone called me otw to work.. try to pick a fight... Stupid Idiotic person... Then went home and receive this email from her....

I stared at the email for quite a long time... She wanted me to find someone better then her in the future.. How could i... Ive been waiting for her and only her for the pass 9 months... Its true that life is unfair.. But this not about life... Its just about me... I wanted her so badly... I can try finding another girl but it would never be the same...

If u are reading this, i would like to say that i just dun want to find someone new... i just want u... I noe im an idiot. yes i admit that.. but i cant forget u that easily...

Really sux... Another thing that kept me wondering is friends... do i have a REAL friends? a friend that would be there when i needed most... Its just hard for me nowadays.. kept thinking of sumtin that ive never thought about before.. Have i change? Or izzit something else? Well the question to be ask is Who am I? and What am i doing in life?...

2008-07-03T20:36:00.002+08:00

What does it feels like to be standing in the centre of the stage singing to thousands of people?? It might be awesome i guess.. One thing for sure i would like to be the person on stage.. Would that be a reality for me?? Well i will try my best to be there... Its like everytime i close my eyes, i could feel that im having the same dream again and again.. And it keeps making me uneasy. feeling like really wanting to be there... wouldnt it be great if that such dreams were to happen.. Some of the people really felt that way... And oredy achieve it like taufik, hady mirza, aliff aziz.. and a gerl from Indonesia thats only ard 17 years has oredy be a singer... thats like amazing...

Ok this update is crap.. hahax... but its still one of my dream.... Loking forward to achieving it....

2008-07-02T22:40:00.002+08:00

Here i am blogging again....

I recently had dreams that i really want it to come true... The dream i had is firstly becoming an singer... I was on stage the two of the popular singers. It felt really great.. it seems like really happening... Since that dream, ive been looking forward for the next audition.. I noe im crazy but its what i dream of... it has become one of the things i really want to achieve... Well i never noe unless i try.... It seems like after having that dream, i felt really weird and i really have no idea why... hmmm....

Well the next dream of mine is.. i am standing in the middle of a parade in a NDP contigent.... Ive oredy try joining but failed.. What can i say, other people just more good enough than me...
Been dreaming about this since 4 years ago.. yeah that long.. But i will still try to achieve it no matter what...

Still got alot of dreams i wanna share but i guess enough of it here...

recently in school i was like feeling down.. it seems like something is not right or maybe something is gonna happen... Nobody even notice that except for one... Well to that one person.. thanks for the concern...

And lastly i would like to wish a happy birthday to all those celebrating especially my brother... Plus Firdaus Muhaimin Irsyaduddin and Alina which was belated last month... hehe....

Well thats all now...

2008-06-19T19:56:00.003+08:00

ok here is a picture of the class M714... my class currently at poly.. hahax... we're having our BBQ.. Left only 5 of us staying over for the nite.. but still had fun in the end...

There it is.. went to buy soccer boots today With Zul... Went Penisular plaza and bought it in the first shop Zul introduce to me... hahax.. fast huh.... well it quite worth it... simple.. but nice...

2008-06-14T12:58:00.002+08:00

ok here i am updating... welcome to the month of June where alot of positive things happen to me... ferst thing first... Its school holiday... its a two weeks holiday.. isnt much but its still a rest from school...

Then last wednesday 11/06/08 is one of the best days.... took my test... practical test.. or should i say TP... and guess what.. I PASSED! ! ! ! ! hahax... till now still feel proud of myself... get drive oredy now... LEGALLY... hahax.....

Well the sad part is that my cousin has been admitted to the hospital.. not just warded, but in the ICU... went there for 3 days and stay there till late nite... really sad looking at her... haizz... praying hard for her survival....

Life... hmmm.. i dun think i wanna talk abt it now...

2008-05-25T23:28:00.002+08:00

OK IM SICK! ! ! ! ! !

having flu all out of the sudden... maybe bcoz of the unpredictable weather??becoz of depression?? pushing myself over my body limits? hmm guess so... i have not been having enuff rest these few days... Always tiring myself. its like ive been enduring these days with soccer and stuff...

Since this morning, ive been thinking of sumtin.. suddenly ive became so like hot tempered... or maybe more emotional or also jealousy... Im thinking that, am i alone? Do i have a REAL fren? What is the meaning of a REAL fren? do anione noes that? i keep forcing myself not to think about more than a fren, if u noe wat i mean, bcoz its useless... it will never come....

Plus.. ive been thinking about my dreams.... i have lost most of it.. maybe 3/4 of my dreams is gone with a flash... Finding it needs determination and time but losing it, i just couldnt mention how fast it was... maybe im just not the 'achieving dreams' type of guy... maybe i should return to the previous me... just follow the flow?? well.. i hate returning there.. but sumtims i felt that i have no other choice....

The only dream i have still is just entering the school team... made it to the first test... but thats wat i achieve everytime i went for trial.. and i always fail the second test... The question now is that will i able to make my dream come true??

well need some rest...

My heart shouts ur name everyday.. it just wont let u go away.... the carving made to my heart cant be erased... And my mind will never forget u.... Achieving this dream could be impossible but it just take fate to make it real....

Love is magic.. But magic can be just an ILLUSION....

2008-05-18T00:23:00.001+08:00

It has been 2 weeks that i didnt update.... Well i can say What a life...

Tears keep rollong down these few days... Reasons being that my dream is gone with just a blink of an eye... Like how am i going to come for training when im having school.... Stupid.... yeah some of those who read this may be angry but its true... Now i cant achieve my dreams.. Im talking NDP here.. and really blew it away.... ARGH! ! !

other than that i failed my Rockclimbing trials.. no more climbing for me... i failed almost everything this year... like wat the fuck... things not going like i want to... in fact its going the opposite of wat i wanted... Life really failed me this year... This really hurts me alot... U guys see me enjoying.. but deep inside, tears cant really stop flowing... i just cant find any words that could describe my feelings...

The ones that really makes me forget things for a while is my school frens.. my IKEA-Ians... Ouh ya... went out with some of the Ikea-ians to play soccer at nite.. well i can say midnite.... crazy timing.. but fun... Makes me forget things for a moment... and not forgetting those who have cheer me up while chatting... u noe who u are.. i thank u very much.....

2008-05-03T11:09:00.002+08:00

Im really destroying my body.... My shoulder still hurts... cant even raise up my hand up high... but still going for climbing...

Am i crazy??.. well i think so.... i did all this just to feel good about myself... once a fren told me to get over... Im trying... trying hard... although i destroy my physical being, i save my emotions alot due to all the pain i have been enduring... As long as my mind is drifted from my emotions, i dont care even if i break my arm...

What type of person am i anyway?? hmm i guess most of u guys who noes me will be asking that... well since u guys call me that at werk, well that wat i will be during werk... slowly and useless.... and yah.. im returning back to my old self... so getting pissed off easily will be part of me.... i thought caring for others and being cool will make things better for me.. but i was really wrong... is gotten me so emotional that i got so hurt easily... what hurt me more is that im loving someone that does not even be bothered...

So its not me that want to return to my old self... u guys force me to... If u dun like it... say it straight to me... no gossips.... And guys... DONT TEST MY PATIENCE! ! !

2008-04-29T22:34:00.003+08:00

First of all, i would like to say is that... I dun care anymore.... I no longer care about my life.. so what ever happens to me, i just hack care...

i notice that i just too caring abt life that makes me miserable.... so if u guys see any change abt me, just keep it to urself... i just dun want to hear it..... And yeah, from now on, i wont start any conversations... dun expect me to say hye unless its really important.. i dun want to disturb ur bz life....

This mybe a little harsh but who cares... If u guys out there dun care abt me, for wat hell i care abt u.... so yah.... thats all now...

2008-04-27T15:18:00.002+08:00

Heres the ferst sunday after school reopens... Hmm school... time table really like hmm sux...almost everyday 9 to 5... like werking office hours... the got 2 to 4 hours hours of lab.... its like.. WhAT THE haCk...wat are we supposed to do in the lab for 4 hours....sit ard facing the computer.. like stupid....

Got my match this morning/ noon.. where the sun is directly above.... do DAMN HOT! ! ! ! cant even focus much on the game... and ya.. i got injured... got whacked real hard by the ball to my chest... which leave me totally breathless for a few seconds.... added up with the heat, i almost fainted... till now my chest really hurts... and so tired...

Hmm thanx to the guys tagging here... and reading my updates... appreciate it.... sorry if my blog like so pathetic but its just me.... its my life and its wat i felt....

Finding love is hard.... forgetting love is so much a killer... Y cant i just forget her.... eventhough makin frens makes me feel alive and lonely no more and also making me so happy... somewhere in me cant stop loving.. Why cant the love be replace... izzit me or her or sumone never tries.... hard to understand... but loving a person that doesnt feels the same abt me really hurts... just dunnoe wat to do now... maybe ill just be waiting a another chance then....

2008-04-23T17:04:00.002+08:00

Here i am still alive.... well cummon guys... call me watever... but its still my life....

Been having some fun last week with freshman orientation at my school... having so much fun until lost my voice.... taking care of classes which turns out to be the greatest.... meeting some more new frens and all..... but too bad we still did not win the regatta.... sux.. business really got the best spot... like stupid like that.... than after the last day at nite went for briefing which is supposed to be "sad".. but to me its reall boring....No offence.... then had 30 mins of jam and hop.... like stupid...

hmm well.. i dun wanna talk abt life today.... to long to type.... well till another update.....

2008-04-09T19:50:00.002+08:00

Guess im just left with nutin but myself.....

No matter where i go or who i am with... i just felt i so left out... its like im not acceptedby everyone.... Life for me lately is really boring and lonely.... i mean REALLY! ! !... Just dunnoe wat to do to my life... Keep living with this miserable life or just end it with a suicide.... Plus ive always been hurt.... Maybe i am true... Reality does hurt alot.... Life so stressful.... and also being the idiot that i am now... Ive just been liking someone... but have nutin in return... like wat the hell.. Yeah im always like too late or too soon... never the perfect timing.. haizz...... really feel like ending my life here..... guess thats it then... if i didnt update this for at least a month... well i may not be in this world anymore....

bye now....

2008-04-01T23:44:00.002+08:00

STRESS! ! ! ! !

I dun noe wats happening to me now... After the chalet, more things and problems keep cumin... Adding to that, i always feel bored and more lonely as before... and i dunnoe y... Im now easily get angry, and im getting more emotional... What is happening to me?? ARGH! ! !

I kept thinking of life... What izzit for me in the future.. What had happen to me in the past.. And what is happening to me in the present...

The past.... i really miss all the good times happenning.. especially in secondary school life... The whole 6 yrs of my life... Life really started for me when i retained my sec 3... thats is where i really understand the real meaning of life, love, and importantly real meaning of me.... thanx to all my frens...

Its really hard to find the person that is desired... The only person that is only in my mind now is her... Ive been waiting... 6 months and still counting... But izzit worth waiting?? Am i waiting for the news that ive been awaited for or am i waiting for the worst news in my life?? i just dunnoe...

What a life i had this yr.... and still have 8 months to "suffer" this yr with reality.... People say that "A bad start of the yr led to a great end"... well i wish those people said is true...

Lastly i just wanna apoligise to everyone that ive done wrong to... Please forgive me... Need to say it now cause there could be no time for me to say... sumtin might happen to me anytime... maybe tonite.. maybe tomorrow... i just dunnoe....

to be honest, tears are rolling down while im typing this.... guess this will be it for today...

Zee out....

2008-03-30T00:40:00.002+08:00

My Baby You by Marc Anthony

As I look into your eyes
I see all the reasons why
My life's worth a thousand skies
You're the simplest love I've known
And the purest one I'll own
Know you'll never be alone

CHORUS:
My baby you
Are the reason I could fly
And cause of you
I don't have to wonder why
Baby You
There's no more just getting by
You're the reason I feel so alive
Though these words I sing are true
They still fail to capture you
As mere words can only do
How do I explain that smile
And how it turns my world around
Keeping my feet on the ground

My baby you
Are the reason I could fly
And cause of you
I don't have to wonder why
Baby You
There's no more just getting by
You're the reason I feel so alive
Though these words I sing are true
They still fail to capture you
As mere words can only do
How do I explain that smile
And how it turns my world around
Keeping my feet on the ground

I will sooth you if you fall
I'll be right there if you call
You're my greatest love of all

My baby you
Are the reason I could fly
And cause of you
I don't have to wonder why
Baby You
There's no more just getting by
You're the reason I feel so alive
Though these words I sing are true
They still fail to capture you
As mere words can only do
How do I explain that smile
And how it turns my world around
Keeping my feet on the ground

Arianna I feel so alive

2008-03-26T23:47:00.002+08:00

Hard to see me update twice in a day rite... but here i am typing what i felt in me....
I am used to be someone thats hoping for sumtin but nutin in the end.... Last minute cancel of plans... doesnt it feels great...

Why life for me really sux... Its really make me sad and make me cry if i was really hoping for sumtin.... Countless times things like this happens... that causes my stress... or worst my emotional breakdown.... i really hate to cry but fate force me to... or should i say reality.... After a few weeks back reality, i i should feel it breaking me down, hurting me every minute....

ok dunnoe wat to type... Need to wipe of my tears now... until next time....

2008-03-26T12:23:00.002+08:00

BORED ! ! BORED! ! !

I cant think of a better thing to do during these holidays... its the first time i missed school during holidays.. How sick is that.... haizzz..... Always sleeping very late and waking up in the afternoon...

Well, just came back from chalet at Aloha.... hmmm comments ekh?? Its quite amusing laughing with the jokes playing PS2, PSP, card games... But most of the time we just hang around doing nutin... nutin at all....

My shoulder is being from bad to worst... after the futsal thing for the whole day and continue with work, well i really damage my shoulder as the tear is going worst... Guess i wil not be playing in the match this saturday after all... haizzz.....

WHY?! why do i feel the jealousy... shes not even mine... but everytime i noe sumtin i sure that i will be so jealous... haizzzz..... I dun want to think too much... i just hpe that i can follow her ways between us....

OKOK i just dunnoe wat crap i am talking abt... thats all now...

2008-03-19T17:30:00.002+08:00

IM STILL CONFUSE! ! ! ! ! !

What does a guy gonna do to get the girl of his dreams??

Who is the girl of his dreams???

Lots of questions that a guy need to ask....
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Ive been meeting new frens chatting with new frens and meeting new frens... but all the the frens i meet i just not the same as the true fren that ive found....

well another time another updates....

2008-03-17T01:39:00.002+08:00

OH GreAT! ! ! ! ! !

Now i got a new problem in my mind.... Muscle TEAR! ! ! ! OUCH! ! ! !
got it during werk today... its damn painful.... really need to recover soon... got important days cummin... like my soccer match.... and OUTINGS! ! !

I wonder how did i get this injury again... yes AGAIN! ! ! ! got it once abt 2 yrs ago.. thought it recover but guess not.. haizzzz,, now i have to think of recovering three injuries...

1) Muscle Tear

2)Mystery Injury on Ribcage(That really hurts ALOT! ! !)

3) Shattered heart Of mine

That really sux rite.... And yeah if anyone else still asking me... YES ! ! I STILL LOVE HER! ! ! !
WHO??? well thats for u to noe....

FuDiN... NoMaDeLLo

2008-03-11T17:22:00.003+08:00

Finally im not lazy to update.. hahax...

Well lots of things happening this month.... ferstly is BBQ at pasir ris park.... Promised to be there at 3 but din and me ended up waiting for an hour or so for them... Isnt that great... wat a start... start bbq after arriving... then had a birthday bash... which all of us were dirty and sticky after that... with eggs, flour, curry powder, sauce and lots more... Still the head sabo-er did it again..... hahax... And after that we went wash up and hmm played card games.... Not forgetting the game that we played where 5♣ wins the game.... hahax... thats hilarious... went hm in the morning and straight to bed... hehe...

Then we had our ice skating day... hahax.... im so like afraid to fall... with the ikea-ians and a special guest we really had fun.... most of us fall at least once including me.... funny how we fall... landing with our knees, out butts... hahax.. not forgetting "superman".. hahax.... went to beach road for dinner... and then went home....

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Well its funny how relationships goes.... We still protect those who have break our hearts.. like still talking about the good side bout the person... but one thing i dun understand is that when a person that had hurt us badly suddenly contact us again and say that they still like/love u.. is it they want us to feel better?? or isit that they wnt to hurt us further??? or just to return to us?? im now really confused......

FuDiN is now wondering what is going to happen to him next....

2008-03-01T01:13:00.003+08:00

EXAMS OVER ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Now having at least 2 months break.... not including the supp paper that i will be taking in the next 2 weeks... haizzz.... need to start preparing for it... but at the mean time, its time to enjoy....
Had dinner with my family just now... hahax from hunger to Very Full... as i didnt eat for the whole day....

Tmrw will be having BBQ at pasir ris park.. wohooo ! ! ! looking forward to it and i hope to have alot of fun...

Forgeting someone is really hard but meeting this someone really helps me cool off.... looking forward to meet again... i hope...

FuDiN NoMaD

2008-02-25T16:00:00.001+08:00

"Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes...just be an illusion."

Credits from a colleague and also a good friend.... Thanx....

2008-02-25T13:32:00.003+08:00

I am dreaming..... For the times i am now is at fantasy... even during my exam... Trying to have fun and pretend that nutin is wrong....

I tried expressing my feelings but guess that it is all wasted... The only person that has feelings is just me.... People say to move on but somewhere in me still awaits.. It just wont let go.... Making alot of new friends makes no diffrence...

Ive been away from myself for quite a long time... And still dun noe how much longer it will take for me to be in myself again.... The longer it takes the more it hurts.... And yes, Reality Does Hurts ALOT ! ! ! !

~NoMaD~

2008-02-11T21:52:00.000+08:00

Back for another update.... Reached Singapore on Saturday 10.25pm... And wat a great view i saw of Singapore from the plane....

At Jakarta.. hmm.. did nutin much.. just eat sleep tv and of course SHOPPING ! ! ! !.... well its hard for me to shop alot of things there... hahax.... The apartment there was great.... Nice view of the city and the ocean from the 8th floor where im staying for that 4 days..... Some Fireworks were seen as its Chinese New Year... It was great....

During my stay there.... ive been thinking alot lately... about my life.... i came to a conclusion that I have no other choice but agree to what she is saying....

And also been waiting for someone to give an answer for sumtin....

Thats all now...

FuDiN

2008-02-06T00:41:00.000+08:00

I will be going to Indonesia Tmrw till Saturday... Its a family vacation... Well for me its actually for me to run away from problems that i had.... i just need some rest and to find sumtin in me that was lost for quite sumtime now... Ill be contactless till Saturday.....

Well, there are some things that u wont understand.... Theres no dissapointment in me... but theres hurt.... Let me rest my mind first and let it all go... If i can....

FuDiN

2008-02-03T01:58:00.000+08:00

What a week for me... bad luck jst keep on coming... ok skip the rest until friday... lost my hp... dun even boter to ask y cause i wont ans.... then got into a fight with this stupid matrep.... unfortunately for him i was in a bad mood and he really gets it..... Then the pain on myribcage keeps getting worst.... and lastly.. i get a NO.... haizzz...

Honestly i dun feel dissapointed... i got the feeling that u will say that.... but still waiting is part of me... even though theres some obstruction along the days of waiting.... 85% of my heart goes to u.... Remember, Ur name is PERMANENTLY carved in my heart....

Anyone want to noe my number... ask me personally.....

Thanx again...

FuDiN

2008-01-31T17:46:00.000+08:00

My mind is playing tricks on me again... The whole day in school, i felt that some is watching me.. And when i turn around, theres no one.... Other than that, i kept imagining things... while studying or playing games during free lesson, i saw her in every direction.... but when i look closely its not... WHY! ! !

It seems like the more i tried to loose her.. the more i kept imagining her.... And heart hurts eveytime....

I dun wanna to be this way forever... but i just cant figure out wat to do.... Kept thinking of it and dun have enough time to study... and ya i hand in my EDEVICE quiz paper without anything else written on it except my name.....

Haizzz... just dun noe wat to do...

FuDiN

2008-01-27T21:45:00.000+08:00

It has been weeks since i last update... Been busy plus lazy to update...

Alot of things happened... well ijust came back home since yesterday.. got this "kendarat" at Tanjong Rhu.... kinda of tiring boring and also exciting... sing some songs for the couple... and really work hard... like for two days.. Slept in the bus on the way home together wich was ad 9 people..

Well i just took my second lesson yesterday... which was really boring.... hahax.. and yeah a challenge is made for who uses less money to pass TP with my cousin.... hahax....

I just need an answer... the real answer after thinkng much bout it....
I promise that i wont distract u from ur dreams and goals.... I just need ur love to me.... and I noe thats hard for u... ill be waiting patiently.... as long as i could.....

2008-01-17T21:03:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time
it happened to me...
the sweetest thing
that could ever be...
It was a fantasy...
A dream come true...
It was a day....

I Came to know u...
=)

Still Loving U Hunnie...

2008-01-09T00:07:00.000+08:00

Lately im just confused...

Starting with my school.... I only passed 1 out of 4 subject.... Getting more and more projects everytime... And the previous projects are near to its deadline and i haven't start on it.....

Here i am writing my blog and at the same time thinking what am i doing in my life... Just need someone to lead it to the right path again.... i just dunnoe wat to do anymore....

Im So Sorry Im just

??????????????
??CONFUSE??
??????????????

2008-01-04T01:44:00.000+08:00

I have been thinking for something i need and here is what i thought of....

I JUST NEED YOU ! ! ! !

Ive tried hard.. but she is still one and only....

2008-01-03T00:17:00.000+08:00

I tried my best but can't.... Im like confused with love....

~NoMaD~

2008-01-01T15:32:00.000+08:00

WOW ! ! ! LIKE FINALLY... HEY ALL! ! ! ! ! !

HAPPY NEW YEAR! ! ! ! ! !

2008 is finally here!!!!!!!!!

2007.... a year with alot of memories.. happy, sad , angry and all the feelings were seen during that year... Gonna miss all the stuff happen during that year...

Well... Together with the Ikea-ians, we countdown at work.. hahax... like we have too cause of stock take... but we do have fun counting.. hahax....Tried sumtin and like is really damn strong.... After work, Izzuddin, Zul and me went to coffeeshop... actually another two gerls supposed to join us.. but then again... those are VERY lazy gerls... hahax... 3 of us really talk crap hahax... went then went home at ard 5.30....

New Year Resolution......

My ferst is that i will pass all my papers no matter in school or out... i will succceed in everything i do....

Secondly, I want my family to be 100% well everytime including me as sum of us have our own pain to deal with... esspecially dad who isn the hospital rite now....

And lastly.... hmm i just hope to have sumone again with me by my side.. and will always be happy together plus sharing our feelings.....

I guess thats all for now...

Happy new year to all....

2007-12-30T23:28:00.000+08:00

Im here again for another update...

Ferstly to say.. DAD is warded just NOW! ! !... Big shock for there while werking.... hope he is well and released early from hospital.... will be praying for that....

Just to say that i have return to my fantasies....

I have been hurt too much.... My history has repeat itself... And i dun wanna say it here... chat to noe....

To her:

Sorry.. i tried hard to understand ur reasons but i cant... yes i do love u alot and "lovers" need to understand each other even if we're not together.. but its hard for me... ive decided to say goodbye to u and hoping to move on.... being with u is the sweetest thing ever... and i've learn alot abt growing up.... and i guess that i have not do much or didnt do anitin for u.... and im really sorry... i hope that u will get a better life....

And lastly before i end this update, i just like to say sorry to everyone close to me for being such and irritating bastard that i am now...

BAck to Fantasies,

GoNeCaSeNoMaD

2007-12-27T15:44:00.000+08:00

Here blogging once again....

Yesterday went to Wild Wild Wet with Ikeaians.. well at least some of them together with yaya... Had lots of fun with the slides all... hahax.. become such a small kid in the playground hehe...

Then after that, went to some Kopitiam for "lunch"(dinner) and then came the worst part of me... didnt join them lepakzz at tamp cause my body was so itchy... VERY! !.. cant stop scratching... so i just went home and went to sleep tipp this after noon... hehe..

hmm.. i just dun wanna give up on waiting.. but then again haizzz.... im not a guy that likes to compete against another for a gerl... for me, eventhough we fight for a gerl, it doesnt mean that the gerl like suddenly love u or anitin... so its no used fighting... i will just let the gerl decide.. if she wants me well ill be really happy but it... but if she dun, ill just have to go few steps away from her cause im not who she wants... its not that im to coward to fight.. its just no use.. i really wants her but i cant do anitin to make her feel the same abt me... well thats all now...

2007-12-25T00:13:00.000+08:00

Merry Chrismas to all who is celebrating it.... hahax.... Holidays for us too...

So Boring.... Holidays got nutin better to do.. lepakzz.. other than that in front of comp chatting... but 24/7 thinking... haizzz ... havent take my projects from school which the deadline is ferst lesson after holidays... like haizzz.. hahax..

Well... receive a call... felt shock and really confused.....

thats all for today...

Still missing her.... getting even more every min...

2007-12-22T03:21:00.000+08:00

I really hate to admit this but i have been thinking bout this for the past few days and nights... And i know the she wouldnt like it if she knows... But deep in me, i still do love her... yes i really do... Been seeing her pics... seeing how she is.... really cant get her out of me... although being with her was only a short time.. but the feelings is really strong and it is still is.... For some of u guys will think, WhAT ARE U THINKING ! ! ! she does not love u anymore.... Well i know that.. but its not me that have feelings.. its my heart... the heart of mine really chooses her.... its just me that is to afraid to tell her that... if ur reading this dear, im so sorry... i cant keep it in me anymore... my life is so empty without u.... its hard for me when u go our seperate ways and pretending that we doesnt exists....

ARGH! ! ! OK im really sorry for saying all this... i just hope u find ur true love and be happy always....

~FuDiN~

2007-12-21T00:29:00.000+08:00

I have to stop thinking about this.. To tell the truth, Ive been jealous everytime she wrote abt that guy... haizzz... i know i shouldn't be as im just a fren to her now but i just can't stop being jealous.... There i let it out here so that everyone can read it... I hope it can make me feel better be letting it out.. sometimes i just wish i was still with her... but then again thats just fantasies... and i dun wanna return to my fantasies.... i just wanna be me.... I really need to move on but haizz... lets just fate leads my life... well thats all now....

2007-12-20T09:22:00.001+08:00

Just come home from the mosque for Hari Raya Prayers.... Wanna WIsh All SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILADHA to all the readers here who celebrate it....

Ive been not at home for the last three days... Enjoying the chalet at costa sand pasir ris... With all the Ikea-ians... Its was a blast.. although it is not what we plan... well i mean the organizer that is.. hehe... First day.. pick up the things from ZUL's house and went to the chalet... check in and relax... watch tv eat and play some card games.. and also went swimming... the guys and gerls during the ferst day are Zul,Din,me,Syahid,Li Ling,Li Mei,Farah,Sharifah, Dheelah and his guy.. Fazli join in late at night and the night is never silent when he's around.. hahax...late at night telling ghost stories and lots more... the chalet is finally silent with everyone sleeping except me and din...

Me and Din send Farah to the bus stop early in the morning cause she have plans... then ride in din's bike to McD to buy some breakfast.. Fazli woke up soon after i finish my breakfast... And the morning was never silent.. everyone woke up as he keep on dancing on bed.. hahax.. kinda funny and really irritating.... Got some sleep wen fazli head off to work and wake up 3 hours after... played pool and started the BBQ... not quite as fun as expected though.. but then the food was great.. played games in the night time... and lastly showed the video that din work hard on... with some help from me.... hehe.... after that we packed up the things.... THe lastly day is simply breakfast and head off home... hehe...

Well thats all for today.... Thanx to all the Ikea-Ians for making my life cheerful...

2007-12-05T20:17:00.000+08:00

I didnt know what the love was...
until I was drinking of your lips-
an illusion that arrived to stay.

I didnt know what the love was...
until I looked at myself in the mirror of your eyes,
and discovered I could submerge in your world
to appreciate the dawns and dusks
of your soul... and mine.

I didnt know what the love was...
until I realized I laughed
as a lunatic in nights of the full moon,
when i got my soul drunk
with wine that sprang out.

I didnt know what the love was...
until I began to live with you!

"Everyone has the talent to love;
Some just haven't found it yet."

A poem thanx to a fren...

2007-12-04T22:45:00.000+08:00

A whole day at home with nutin to do.... went to school for only 1 hour and then back home as im not feeling well... bad cough and bad headache... and now having a flu... haizzz... wat luck... guess ill be taking an MC tmrw...

i respect ur decision... Being friends... well at least i can still talk to u and maybe can meet u again... just want u to know that my love for u is never gone... i will still remember u.. and i hope u will in return,.. thats all i need...

And oh ya... HAppY BirthDay to my first ever love and also to the rest of my friends whos bdae during the month of DECEMBER! ! !

2007-12-01T03:05:00.000+08:00

Just came back from work.. yeah end work at 2 today bcoz of stock take.. kinda of fun actually.... count count count... and also make alot of mistakes.... hahax... but the bad part is, my ribcage really triggered while doing closing... wrong timing sey... endure the pain since i didnt bring my painkiller to work... haizzzz...... still i end my work safely....

Have a chat with her today... What i want is just to make u happy... So u say that we can end as frens.. Frens it is.. since its ok and make u happy without having anymore problems... What i felt is a diffrent story.. its just u i care thats all....

When she is happy, I will be happy( i hope)

2007-11-28T00:06:00.000+08:00

Back for another updates....

I cant believe what is happening to me. Its like I dun care about living anymore... Injured both of my knees while playing street soccer... Cycling to places that im not supposed to go.. And stop taking my painkiller eventhough my ribcage is about to kill me.... Its no use going for another check up... I just have the same results.. Doctors, nurses dun know wats wrong...
What is this mystery?

I have failed myself... Honestly, I dun feel regret knowing her... She change me in some way... But i have repeated my past... I truely dun deserve to love... Its all my fault... I am being hurt everytime i felt the love for a person... I know that she left me bcoz of my mistakes... A big mistake.. Yes shes really one of kind and i admit that... But leaving this one of a kind gerl really shatters my shattered heart... And i dun blame her for it... But now i guess she dun need a guy like me... im just a useless and just a irritating guy to her.... Just want to say goodbye to her and i will follow her way by pretending that we never met before.... i hope that u will have a great time always....

Tears roll down my eyes while im writing this... Eventhough its hard.. i will try my best to accept this reality.... Slowly i am slacking in everything i do... Just thinking about life.. with this pain on my ribcage and heart.. it will be anitime when my body will just shut down and i will leave this world.... Well for now ill just follow what life leads me to...

Thats all now...

Guess its all over...

2007-11-25T00:41:00.000+08:00

WaT a DaY ! ! ! ON the 24th november 2007.. i declare one of the best day ever... i enjoy work eventhough it ends at 11 and theres alot of customers... I had my new hp... And The most Exciting thing is i PASSED my final theory test... WOHOO! ! ! ! hahax...

Well enough of the best day.. hehe.. since after the camp last week, i really felt awkward.. its like sumtin is not right around me.. Got wierd dream once that really worried me so much... hmm.. wat am i gonna do??? im i gonna give it up and be a normal person? but then again.. im risking others by doing that.. hmm need to think fast abt that...

And lastly.. im sorry for the harsh words.. i dun want to repeat my past and keep living through this all over again.... its up to u.. its ur decision... just to let u noe i won't forget u and will forever missing u.... i noe that i have to move on but this is the decision i make... i dun want to forget u ever... pls.. at least agree with me on this...

Tears roll down my eyes everytime i think of her.....

2007-11-21T22:37:00.000+08:00

I dun want to say anitin but i got all the proof i wanted... such a LIAR ! ! ! All this while i trusted u but now it change... change ALOT ! ! ! ! ! ! Just to say.. THANX for lying ur way through till now...

There are alot for different ways to find out... when someone did sumtin wrong.. its hard to get away... i will get in any ways to find out the truth.... Its like theres no need to lie to sumone rite? unless neccessary. but this matter does not need to lie... just tell the truth and its over... oh yeah i will feel bad but then i know its the fact and i will live through it....

Ive waited for so long.. but the answer will not come... dun say that ive been treated like a fool again...

2007-11-16T23:34:00.000+08:00

im here again updating my blog while relaxing my body and mind... just came back from plating street soccer... so damn tired... Meeting my cousin at 2 am later..

ok let me talk bout yesterday first.. that is on 15 november.. really felt wierd.. got home from school and felt really tired, sleep and hungry... to a nap as soon i reached home... i just dunnoe wat i dreamt abt during that nap.. i woke up feeling uneasy... And suprisingly.. im not even hugry animore.... rarely happen to me... went out cycling to i dunnoe where and then met my sis while resting near her house... Really i dunnoe wats happening to me... just kept thinking wat i dreamt about...

Ok now lets talk bout today.... hahax... really had fun during school's CCN day... my class, the class of M714 , sold prawn toast.. hahax.. its 3 for $1 isnt that cheap.. hahax.. CHEAP CHEAP GOOD GOOD NICE NICE ! ! ! ! ! HAHAX.... and guess wat... it was sold out after 2 hours.. its great...

And one more thing before i end this update... yeah.. she said she will msg me tonite... but guess it will never happen.... yeah i noe people say im stubborn.. but its not me.. its my heart that is... eventhough its hurt, it is still waiting for her to come back..

My heart still waits for urs to return....

2007-11-07T23:48:00.000+08:00

WOW ! ! ! yesterday was really crazy.... Well its my bdae yest... Thanx to everyone that had wished me... appreciate that really much....

Had dinner with family at East Coast... The food was really great.... And yet cheap... hahax.. crack some jokes during dinner... Then after that... i spent the last few hours of my bdae with my cuzzins.. Karaoke-ing.. hahax.. Things went crazy singing diffrent songs, well a duet which the male singer is me for ALL the songs.... they really sabo me that time... Ended at 1 am.. and while wating for my dad to pick us up... we were laughing non stop at the bus stop... told ur we're crazy.. hahax.... reached hm ard 2.. and went to bed...

This yr was the best birthday i had so far.... thanx to all the people that i noe to make it really happening.... hearts out for u guys and especially to my family and cuzzins....

2007-11-06T00:24:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME ! ! ! ! !

today mark my 19th birthday... make a wish and hopefully it came true....

2007-11-05T22:55:00.000+08:00

That was today when i went to school.... I was out of my mind... take out this shirt out of the wodrobe... and actually wear it to school.... saw the person that i dun want to see and the person that i nervouse to see... haizz... but then again its hard to see me wearing this casual to scholl.. hahax... well thats all now.. bye..

2007-11-05T00:11:00.000+08:00

Just pretend that this update does not exists.......

Need her but shes gone... heartbroke again....

2007-11-03T11:19:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was fun and great.... End school at ard 11.30.. hang out while planning for the raya outing which is in the SAME day... hahax... everyone went home and be prepared.... Although it was a last min thing, it went great even though we were like thinking where to go.... there were some exciting and laughable house that we went and some emotional ones.... the people that went was >>> Firdaus(Fykinz) Muhaimin(cute), Zul, Farit, Shari and me...yes the six of us with alot of fun in us. hehe....

Well, i felt sad since these few days.... Some question kept appearing in my mind.. like is she feeling the same of wat i felt for her?? Am i the one for her??? Or am i just someone she met???I reallt got the bad feeling that she has someone else in mind.. I guess im just out of place in her heart.... but then again, her name has been carve in my heart... i dun want her to leave...

Sorry i cant type no more.. Tears just keep coming out... bye now...

2007-11-01T19:46:00.000+08:00

Well here i am again writing updates and while watching Aladdin hahax...

Yeah Aladdin... It has been a long time since i watch that movie.... its really great though....

2 weeks after school start and it has been only 3 weeks after Raya... it really felt long... I guess it felt long because im just waiting for the best moment of my life.... The answer to my life is really simple... a simple her.... haizz.. still ill be waiting even though how long it takes...

Sorry if u guys dun understand this update... its just haizzz.. hard to tell...

Niweas 5 more days to my wish of the year.... hahax... my birthday of course.... Wish me for the best...

I guess thats all for today... bye now

Still waiting patiently for her to be ready.....

2007-10-22T19:45:00.000+08:00

Well im back in school... School ! ! ! argh!!!... time table really sux... start early in the morning and ended late afternoon... Tired sey.... But the best thing is, get to meet all my classmates... well almost all... cause some of them need to retake their module and we were seperated from the class... haizzz.. too bad.... And Ill be taking up French language as my CDS.... a romantic language to learn and then talk.... hehe....

And another thing i want to write today... hmm i hope thats shes reading this... Cause wat does it takea to get her back??? thats the question that i have been thinking for a while now.... Wat do i have to do?? Well i am prepared to do anything POSSIBLE......

I think thats all for today updates.....

Im really missing her now....

2007-10-21T04:49:00.000+08:00

Hey guys.. pls comment about the song i composed... well be honest ok... hehe.. here it goes...

RAHSIA CINTA DI HATI

Sejak kau, aku kenali
Aku telah menyimpan perasaan hati
Merahsiakan rasa cintaku ini
Nasibku belum ditemui

Sedaya upaya aku mencuba
Merapatkan lagi perhubungan kita
Mencari kekuatan untuk berkata
Apa hatiku sedang berahsia..

CHORUS:
Engkau dan Aku,
Akan tetap bersama
Sinaran Wajahmu,
Membuat ku bahgia

Setiap kali,
Bila kita berjumpa
Tak akan ku kesali
Kerana kau yang ku Cinta….

Aku mengharapkan
Kau dapat memahami
Apa yang ku mendalamkan
Rahsia cinta di hati...

Mengapakah harus ini terjadi
Mengapa harus aku meresahi
Aku tuliskan lagu ini
Untuk meluahkan cinta di hati

Chorus......

2007-10-18T00:15:00.000+08:00

What a day.... Went to werk in morning... Started at 9 but woke up at 8.30... hahax... Felt sleepy and hungry while werking ... Due to lack of sleep... haizz.. Starting that habit of staying up at night...

Well things went fine after that.....

After werk, went home to rest and as usual.. chatting on msn...Then after a few hours of chatting, She PM me out of the sudden....

Well talking bout that, Like i said before, i never said that i did not forgive u.... Pls forgive me for being rude to u just now... It hurts too bad.... Its not me that controls my feelings, Its my feelings that control me... And the feelings wants me to be in love with u... Once it has chosen its love, it will never forgets... What im saying is that i will nvr want to be apart from u... Its time u want then its time u get.. I will wait no matter how long it takes... I dun care how much it hurts but its the choice i make... And i gotta do my own things on my own terms.... I didnt take others advise for this... Its me and only me.....

She went offline after "ending" the conversation... Its wat she says really , well i dunno how to describe the feeling.. And went out to take some breeze and think abt it... Well i dun want to continue... PM me if want to continue...

Ive make my decision to remember u always....

2007-10-13T01:01:00.000+08:00

HELLO ALL! ! ! ! !

Well today is the day... hahax... the day that brings muslims to life.. hmm i guess so.. haha..

FuDiN® ingin mengucap ... SeLAmaT HaRI rAYa AidILFiRi mAaF zAhIR & bAtiN Harap maaf klau tersilap kater... Kepader semuer kawan2 FuDiN yg tersayang,Keluarga, Saudara-mara... dan sesiaper yg membacer blog FuDiN ni...

2007-10-10T12:59:00.000+08:00

hello hello....

FOR today updates, i wanna wish HAPPY birthday to my friends, HAFIZ(18), RAIHANA(19) and ZUL(19).... and also for the rest whom i miss out... HOPE UR WISHES COME TRUE GUYS ! ! !

Well less than a month to.. for wat?? well ask personally yah hehe... And not forgetting that RAYA IS 3 DAYS AWAY! ! !... its like so FAST....

HAizz.. i kinda of having such a rotten luck this yr... well almost... My ribs still hurt alot..(Well of course since u DUN want to go for ur appointment) hahax.... and Raya dun feel so exciting.... And also heart pain...almost everyday i kep thinking... haizz..

well i guess thats all for today.... need to GO WITH THE FLOW ! ! !

Still thinking bout her.. haizz i hope she realises love for her...

2007-10-02T00:42:00.000+08:00

HeLLo again...

New month has come but still the same old me....

Well its still school holidays and still fasting month.. Dunno wat to do at home but clean the house or just go out and meet some frens... this is wat i call no life type.. daily routine, sleep at 6am, wake up ard 3 pm.. DUnnoe wat to do till 7.. and go out at 8 back hm ard 11.30 and on the comp till 6... haizzz.. BORInG ! ! !

But then again, thats not all... ive been waiting for my supp maths results.. i hope i pass this time... cause i really studied for that paper... and also dun wanna separate class with the rest of them....

Well as u guys read this.. i just wanna say last matter for tonite updates... My heart is getting Lonely every single day.... i just dunnoe wats missing or should i say who's missing.. haizzzz...

I hope i find the answer soon......

Missing someone real bad right now.....

2007-09-24T23:56:00.000+08:00

RECORD BrOKEN ! ! ! !

hahax... This month is the most updates for me... Wat to do so bored during the nite... While waiting for sahor.... might as well make my updates than doing nutin at all.... HAHAX...

Just to add on to this update.... Strange dreamS kept coming to me everynite.. HMM VERY curious... The last time I dream abt this strange dreams, it really came true.. except its in a diffrent way... last time it was abt breaking up.... but this time its abt patching up.... these dreams make me thinking.. And always make my life uneasy... haizzz... Well i guess i just have to wait for the outcome....

Thats all for tonite....

SELAMAT BERPUASER SEMUER ! ! !

Im still thinking of u eventhough i try to forget it.....

2007-09-23T01:51:00.000+08:00

Dambaan Cinta

Ungkapan kata selindung hasrat nan di hati
Andainya ditafsir terserlah makna yang tersembunyi
Renungan mata bukan pandangan biasa

Bertahun andai terjalin hingga waktu ini
Gurauan mesra menghiasi masa kita bersama
Semakin berputik perasaan ini

Kini baru ku sedari
Selama ini kau ku sayangi
Andai bukan itu hakikatnya
Mengapa rindu yang ku rasa

Mungkin tiada ku fahami
Tidak dapat ku nafikan lagi
Beban rahsia kian membakar diri

Kalimah cinta selongkar renungan dicipta
Mungkinkah dibiar terdampar
Kasih tak kesampaian
Naluri bisik bukannya dambaan cinta

Kini baru ku sedari
Selama ini kau ku sayangi
Andai bukan itu hakikatnya
Mengapa rindu yang ku rasa

Mungkin tiada ku fahami
Tidak dapat ku nafikan lagi
Beban rahsia kian membakar diri

Ikhlas ku nyatakan
Kau yang ku sayangi
Kau yang ku cintai
Walau tak mampu ku miliki

Ingin ku luahkan
Mungkin satu hari
Kan terbuka pintu hati
Dapat juga kau terima
Diriku akhirnya

2007-09-23T01:21:00.000+08:00

Sorry to begin like this but i want to say that my reality really sux.... i tried not to go back to my fantasies but life force me too... Its like a genie being force back to its lamp...

My reality is too much for me to handle.... Memories keep coming back to me... even though i try really hard to forget, it just pop up in my mind... History is really repeating itself... the different is just abt another person thats all...

Why do i have to live in a life like this... i dun deserve this... Is this fate or izzit my mistake??? i just hate thinking about it....

SOMEONE PLS HELP ME ! ! !

i just cant forget the memories of her...

2007-09-19T00:37:00.000+08:00

Rare to see me update everyday huh.. hahax..

This is wat i do when i cant sleep at nite... just to waste time until sahur...

For today, i just wanna say that i forgive her... But that doesnt mean that I will be ok after that... Im still hurt inside.... And i guess it will nvr be mend.... well thats fate... but still i need to folow the flow...

i will still be waiting no matter wat happens...

2007-09-19T00:25:00.000+08:00

Bet On It

Everybody's always talking at me
Everybody's trying to get in my head
I wanna listen to my own heart talking
I need to count on myself instead

Did you ever...
Lose yourself to get what you want?
Did you ever...
Get on a ride and wanna get off?
Did you ever...
Push away the ones you should of held close?
Did you ever let go?
Did you ever not know?

Im not gonna stop that's who i am.
I give it all i got that is my plan.
Will I find What I lost
you know you can.
Bet on it.Bet on it.Bet on it.
Bet on it.(Bet On Me)

I'm gonna make it right.
That is the way.
To turn my life around.
Today is the day.
And i'm the type of guy who means what i say.
Bet on it.Bet on it.Bet on it.Bet on it.

How will i know if theres a path worth taking?
Should i question every move i make?
Of all lost's my heart is breaking.
I don't wanna make the same mistakes.

Did you ever...
Doubt your dream will never come true?
Did yoiu ever..
Blame the world that never blamed you?
I won't ever...
Try to live a lie again.
I don't wanna win this game if I can't play it my way.

Im not gonna stop that's who i am.
I give it all i got that is my plan.
Will I find What I lost
you know you can.
Bet on it.Bet on it.Bet on it.Bet on it.
(Bet On Me)

I'm gonna make it right.
That is the way.
To turn my life around.
Today is the day.
Am i the type of guy who means what i say?
Bet on it.Bet on it.Bet on it.Bet on it.

Oh,Hold up
Give me room to think
Bring it on down
Gotta work on my swing
Gotta do my own thing
Hold up

It's no good at all
To see yourself and not recognize your face
Out on my own, it's such a scary place

The answers are all inside of me
All I gotta do is believe

I'm not gonna stop
Not gonna stop 'til I get my shot
That's who I am, that is my plan
Will I end up on top?

You can bet on it, bet on it, bet on it
You can bet on it, bet on it
Bet on it, bet on it

I wanna make it right, that is the way
To turn my life around, today is the day
Am I the type of guy who means what I say
Bet on it, bet on it
Bet on it, bet on it
You can bet on me

2007-09-18T00:00:00.000+08:00

Back with another life story.. hahaxx..

Well i have make my decision... Im starting anew.... Im going to follow the flow of life.. gonna change my life and nobody will ruin my life except me... And u can bet on it....

Hmm i just need to get use to the change... cause i dun wanna think or plan anitin for my future... i just want to live the present day after day... Like i said follow the flow...

I guess now i noe why she waited for the fasting month... my guess is i cant do anitin during this month.. well lets wait for the it to end shall we.. hahax...

I think thats all....

I GOT THE POWER ! ! !

But im still missing her... nutin can change that for the moment...

2007-09-16T00:19:00.000+08:00

hello...

Here i am updating my blog....

well ferst thing ferst... just wanna say that i PASS my btt... waited for 9 months to pass after 3 attempt... finally i can move on... hahax.. next is ftt at late November... lets hope i can take it only once... well just wait when the day comes...

I thought i have found my happiness... but i was wrong.. it led me to twice i were before... I really dun want history to repeat but cant prevent it... I guess i trust my happiness to the wrong person... The happiness turn out to be a disaster..
I want to make this diffrent then my past.. this time i will accept it.. and wait as my happiness will be the only one... yeah ill wait for her... until ive found my will to move on... and also i will not be back to my fantasy... i will stay where i am now... and face wat happen to me.. this is my fate.. and the fate is i cant find my true happiness.. thats for sure...

well thats all now.. nitezz every one..

i bounce somewhere between my dreams and my reality

2007-09-12T20:43:00.000+08:00

ARGH ! ! ! ! ! Exams result is out... SO Dissapointing....

Fail my maths paper.. that really sux... i was hoping to pass that paper so i dont need to retake... really hard sey... haizzz.. wat a luck.. gpa also very low... adding the sux too.. haizzz.... need to study hard for the supp paper.... dun want to repeat that subject.... at least ive found a "teacher" to help me revise... hahax... i hope shes a good one.. cause i really dun wanna fail again...

hmm today went cycling at ubin with my werkmates.. hahax.. from 9.30, supposed to be 8.30, till 4... really damn tiring... we cover almost every part of the island.. now at home really cant move my legs... too tired... and sleepy... cause i only slept for only an hour yesterday....

Well, im still waiting patiently for the thinking thing... haizz.. i hope it really comes soon... cause everyday i kept thinking bout what is going to happen... sumtimes the good and most of the times bad.. kept dreaming bout it too... i dun want my dreams to come true.. i dun want someone to take away my happiness that ive just found...

waiting patiently for my happiness to be revived...

2007-09-03T00:24:00.000+08:00

Hi again to all the readers here... back to my once a month update... hahax...

Well its the months of september... Its been so fast since i took my last major exams in secondary school...

Ok i can say that Poly life is hard enough.. same thing as sec sch but abit harder... haizzz... Its gonna be ok for a while since i am having quite a long holiday... just enough time to enjoy....

I wish that i am living in other country rite now.. well at least that what i am thinking when im updating tis.. Having a summer vacation.. hahax... dream on yeah...

Speaking of summer vacation... i cant wait to see High school Musical 2... hahax a kind i am watching that kind of thing but who cares.. me is me.... No one can change that....

Other than wat i have written above, i just curious.. Did i do sumtin wrong till Im left feeling so lonely?... I really missing someone so very much rite now.....

Im wondering if my dreams that i dreamt for almost every single nite are coming true to reality.... in my dreams, ive been fooled around by the ones i love most... I think that i am thinking to much about my dreams till i am feeling the way i am now.. useless, miserable and not forgetting LoNeLy...

Well, someone(the person in my tag box) does admit that HE(yes that DOG is a HE) and admits that he likes me miserable... And yeah.. Hey dog, ur being a good doggy for listening to ur MASTER advice to come here and disturbing my life... Oh ya... thanx for ruin my life DOGGY... hahax..
(Take ur Jogging shoes and wait for advice from the Big Boss while holding a Dog name Ken)

And for the rest on my "taggers" that help me, I thank you guys and girls so much...

Thats all for tonite update again next time...

i wish to have her with me all the time until forever

2007-08-17T00:29:00.000+08:00

well... its rarely to see me update also every day huh.. hahax....

lets start with school today... just went for the writing oral presentation... hahax... wearing almost formal... and i was 2nd last to present.... and my class was so supportive.. hahax... that is why i dun fear presentaing to them... eventhough i had to ignore the teacher still hahax.. then with our smart wear, we took some pics.. hahax...

enough bout school.. hahax... hmm i just cant believe wat kind of luck that i have these few days... well kinda of sux actually... haizzzzz..... well i guess i agree with u Naz... they are just too afraid to admit their self.... well i dun noe lah.. let it be.... games can be played two sided yah...

thats all for today... bye now...

2007-08-15T23:02:00.000+08:00

well back again for another update.....

Just say that i had really had a bad day....

Scorpio
You'll have no patience for people who get in your way today -- so just avoid them.

well, i really dont believe what the horoscope say until today... well i hope its only today.... first thing is in school... haizzz... really dont want to talk about it...

But just to ask the readers here, is love my mistake... Just wanna say that its me who wants to love... no one can control ones emotions... Really i dun like being control till like that....

Thats all for now... Hope that i have a good day tmrw...

2007-08-14T22:02:00.000+08:00

hi again to all the blogger out there...

well.. EXAMS coming! ! ! ! ! just a week left to study.... its like so soon... need to complete revision by then.. haizz... the 3 thick book from the 3 subject... its like WOW!!! cant believe that is so fast...but then again, i kept dreaming in class... hahax... great timing to dream huh...

then again life was so wonderful once again... its like being with that someone make my life so complete...seriously i have sumone in my life... my fantasies has comes to an end... reality now rule my world.. well at times that is.. times being with the person in my life... hahax..

well i guess thats all for today.... nutin more to write abt... bye now....

Fantasies is now reality...hehe...

2007-08-09T14:32:00.000+08:00

heyhey...

its August... And today every one in Singapore noes it.....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE ! ! ! !

hahax... its a holiday for all... well almost all... other then sec and primary sch, we still have to school on friday.. that sux... haizzz..... but its ok... at least my lesson end earl on friday... lolx..

Hmm let me see... yesterday mark the happiest day of my life.... just say that ive met someone that i love most.. hahax....

well.. lots will be happening soon.. like for example... EXAMS COMING! ! ! and the bad news is i dun even understand most of the topicss.... and i dun wanna repeat again... ARGH! ! ! need to make extra effort at the last minute... well like wat my class of 5NB 2006 will say SAVE THE BEST FOR LAST.... hahax...

until next time bye now..

MiSsInG HeR
GoNeCaSeNoMaD®

2007-07-19T23:50:00.000+08:00

heyheyheyheyheyhey.... hahax... im back... after a month missing in action from blogging... hahax... well i can tell u, alot of things happens... Happy moments, sad and of course the memorable moments....

I just want to wish HAPPY BIRTHDAY! ! ! ! to all my frens that is born on the month of July....
Especially to:
MUHAIMIN 18
FIRDAUS 18
HAIRIL 18
ZUL 18
AND NOT FORGETTING MY BROTHER SUFIYAN 15

Had fun during Min's chalet.. overnight for 2 days and went fishing hahax.. Well the best part about the chalet is when Min got "sabo" three times... hahax... the ferst time is ard 12.30am on the day of his bdae... its was my idea to buy some flour fir idea to buy some eggs.. hahax... Min was then smeely and white.. hahax.. he really chase us for that... then was by us too that was permitted by his mom.... cake was splatted on his face.. that was like WOW ! ! we cant bring him to the cake so we bring the cake to him.. hahax.... and the last part i cant really mention here.. its to violent.. hahax...
As for Firdaus's, i did not do anitin... but just to chase him.. He ran thinking that i was gonna throw eggs at him.. but end up that i was not holding anitin.. hahax... that was really FUNNY ! ! !

That done with the birthdays.. Well this month me and my frens skip alot of lecture.. reason being that we woke up late and lazy hahax.. sumtims after sch, we went to Min's for karaoke... talking bout karaoke, Min and Farit had an amazing voice....

Hmm thats the fun part.. the sad part is that, i miss the good old times during sec sch... the studies, the teachers, the frens,the npcc and alot of things...
well being in Polytechnic is really a big different than being in sec sch... the ans is really hard to find... and for the frens and npcc.. It really breaks my heart....

These few days, i kept thinking about them every night... the days as a class... The WONDERFUL class of 5NB 2006... the senior batch of npcc... all of that just dissapear in a blink of an eye....
really miss them.... now we were all seperated it just sad.....

For my npcc frens.. haizz.. well the close relationship of us were all gone just like that..... and now we were like just frens... haizzzz..... that really burst my tears.......

Well i just wish that i can turn back time to the days that we had fun and share our tears together....

I thonk i will stop right now... cant stop my tears from running down my cheeks right now..... The last thing that i wanna say that i wish that we were all back to the days that we were the last time....
Bye Now...

Memoriesmemoriesmemoriesmemoriesmemoriesmemoriesmemoriesmemoriesmemoriesmemories
Crying out
GoNeCaSeNoMaD®

2007-06-30T22:53:00.000+08:00

Hi again to all the readers here...

What a month... theres alot happening.. Well i guess this is the worst month ever...

First thing is that, I had my test this month that is i dun how to do kind of test... sux rite... And get the results after the term break... fail my maths.. like obviously... get just pass for ckt and well a moderate mark for my dfund... haizzz... really hate it..

For the term break, we had only TWO weeks break which i only enjoyed on the first week... overnite at pasir ris park for two days together with my workmates and friends one after the other.... actually got another nite with classmates... but didnt enjoy it cause it falls on the second week of break and i was having a high fever which i thought i was the only one having fever....

A few of my workmates and class mates were having the same sickness as well... haizzz...

Then actually i was suppose to get my own laptop by this week... Stupid singtel... never makes things easy for me... they suppose t email me on the form which i suppose to print... but till now my email is empty... like wat the F***.... now still need to wait for it...

And one more thing before i end my update today, HAPPY ADVANCE/BELATED birthday to all my friends relative and all the readers out there... hahax...

Till next month... Bye Now...

GoNeCaSeNoMaD®

2007-06-02T23:11:00.000+08:00

Hi again to all the readers here....

It looks like i only update in th early month.. Well seems like it...

Things for me is very hard... like in the middle of last month, my father was sent to the hospital for an operation... Its really shock everyone especially me... during the time he was sent to the hospital, i was out.... haizz... feel really bad that i wasnt there for him when he needed me the most.... I was relived when he is back to the good form and was discharge 3 days after...

Other than that , school was tough... studies really stress me alot... with the quiz that i almost failed.... plus the test that is coming this coming monday.... ARGH ! ! ! THE PRESSURE ! ! !

Why izzit very hard for me to do just a simple thing.... just to ask a gerl out is damn hard! ! ! but then again i did it... hmm.. i dun expect her to accept it... well who am i anyway for a beautiful lady to say yes with....

haizz... feel really lonely when i say that... here i am really lonely at home tonight with only the computer to accompany me... Lonely and BORING ! ! !

another time then... waiting for her reply.. hahax...

bye now..

GoNeCaSeNoMaD®

2007-05-09T14:19:00.000+08:00

Hey... back here again for today's update.....

Thanx guys for those who still tagging here....

Hmmmm...... Dreams.... it is part of a person fantasies.... at times, u really want it to come true to reality... but sometimes not.....

Yesterday was the dream tat i really want to come true....

I dream of her accepting my apologies and we're back together again.... i had been thinking of it in school and even when im writing this rite now....

Haizz... wat the hack... i just know tat i will just have to live in fantasies if i want her again... rite now hahax... kept dreaming NoMaD...

well another time now...

GoNeCaSeNoMaD®

2007-05-06T15:04:00.000+08:00

Hi again..... its has been about a month since i update my blog... reason being that firstly, i had some problems with me, my school and lots of stuff....

During the past month, i had some fun time that i wanna share here... something exciting that made me forget my shattered life....

For example, when my friends and i went fishing.... We caught 38 fishes and most of them are the same kind.... hehe.... unbelievable, believe it.... thats the most fish that i ever caught so far....

And then there was the first day of school at my new school, Temasek Polytechnic.... well u can say that its fun and can also be boring like all other schools... found new friends... but still we still got lost in school.... having a hard time finding the classes.... hahax... it was hilarious.....

Just wanna share the feeling when i got my NO 3 uniform... YES.. i got it... i collected it eventhough i was sick.... when i reached home, fix the uniform and wear it.... i really look cool in it... although it was kinda of warm wearing the uniform....

Not forgetting that we went for movies yesterday to watch Spiderman 3.... Abit dissapointing really... but it was great.... then we celebrate someones birthday after the movies.. and guess wat... it was at 5 in the morning... hahax....

______________________________________________________________________________

But then there are some up and downs for me... cant escape that....that happens in our daily life... things change unexpectedly....

I really wanna share something that i felt.... i really missed someone.... it felt like i have been rejected by her eventhough i didnt talk bout relationships.... well... i love her but i was afraid to confront it.... im scared that everything will chaos when i did that.... so we just have have to stay as friends... even if it really break my heart....

Well another day another story..

Back to Fantasies

GoNeCaSeNoMaD®

2007-05-06T01:08:00.000+08:00

2007-03-28T15:43:00.000+08:00

hmm well im back... after some buzy days.... got camps at my previous school tat is greenview... have alot of fun there with the cadets... but the bad thing is that the ncdcc camp clash with the npcc camp... and she is there in the camp... cant even spent one day in the camp without seeing her.... she is everywhere i go.... haizz... so yahs... Foo natasha huda affan erwin and ahmad was there too... had fun scaring the cadets... punishing them... like almost ah...

well.. a day after tat, i saw her again inside the bus yesterday.... haiz... y cant we just be away from each other.. so i dun have to ignore her... haizz...

well and again life sux.... got home late at nite and got scolded for that... obviously..... but nevermind...

i dun wanna go to the rest as its all the same.. hahax.... happy as well as emotional....

till next time then...

NoMaD™

2007-03-19T00:16:00.000+08:00

well... another day for me..

Work sux today... customer just blame me(so called F@#%) just becoz theres no ice.... wat the hell.... haizz.. just my luck....

hmm... i think that i will be replying or picking up unimportant msgs or calls... reason that firstly to save my prepaid.. and also that i will not be holding my fone regularly like i used too.... its just becoz that i gave up waiting and hoping.... i was just hoping that the person will just give me a msg im sorry and be close together like we used to last 3 yrs..... The fun we had... the love we shared.....And again... stop dreaming FuDiN..... just wish that it could happen... haizz.....

well as usual.. life sux.... still finding wat i wanted to look for..... and still the same for the rest....

i guess i have to prepare for my course tommorrow....

another dreams another fantasies... NoMaD™

2007-03-14T00:10:00.000+08:00

IM BACK!!!!

hahax... well for the past few days, ive been out late at nite and reach home in the morning.... and got scolded for that.. hehe... went fishing, lepakzz wiht frens and all stuff.... hmm starting werk again tmrw.... i really enjoyed myself.....

the reason i wanted to go fishing is that firstly, i wanted to have fun... but the main reason is so that i can release all the presure and stress inside me.... i had too much stress and even my mum noes it without me telling.... she give me some sort like a medicine to cure me... well i hope it really works....

haizz.... im feeling as lonely as ever... although i have lots of frens, it feels like its no use.... my life is empty.... something is still missing inside of me.... and i think i am missing someone that i truely love... ad to be honest, i dun noe who.... its no use living in fantasies when i still feel the same thing that im feeling in reality.... i cant control my will to love....

hmm another day anothe update...

Safiuddin aka NoMaD

2007-03-08T14:57:00.000+08:00

ok... just for a while here... just wanna sae that i make it....

Posted to : Temasek Poly

Course : Mechatronics

wow... im so relief that i got in to poly.... hahax.... finnally its conferm tat i go sch wihout wearing uniform.. LOL...

hmm, yesterday went to Sim Lim.... Finally i bought a PSP for myself.... hahax.... just love it... ...

well thats all now....

NoMaD™

2007-03-02T02:38:00.000+08:00

FORGIVE

Forgive the sun who didnt shine
The sky had asked for her to dine

Forgive the stars that heard your wish
The moon prepared their favourite dish

Forgive the rain for its attack
The clouds have tears they cant hold back

Dont hate the birds cause they are free
Dont envy all the things they see

Dont block the wind but hear it cry
Or else that wind may pass you by

Forgive the storm it means no harm
Could not resist to show its charm

Forgive the earth that never turns
Dont hate the sun because too much burns

Life intends to not cause pain
The flowers bloom from all the rain

The storm will come and it will pass
The sun that shines it grows the grass

The wind it cannot help but cry
The stars at night light up the sky

Forgive the world in which we live
We'll all find peace if we forgive

2007-03-02T01:42:00.000+08:00

hidupku penuh dengan masalah.My love life just sucks!! Jangan pernah percaya kata manis seorang wanita. Ku kesali. Ku tertipu, aku diperabaikan. Aku mempercayai kau sepenuh dengan hatiku. Tetapi, apakah daya, jodoh tiada....

Kenangan bersamamu amat sukar dilupakan. Aku fikirkan bahawa kau adalah seorang wanita yang bertanggungjawab tetapi sebaliknya. Orang yang ku sayang-sayang kini dah disambar orang. Kau adalah seorang wanita yang sukar untuk aku lupakan...

Jodoh pertemuan di tangan Tuhan. Apa yang berlaku sudah ditakdirkan. Aku ingin mengimbas kembali masa pertama aku berjumpa denganmu. 21 haribulan Mei kami memulakan hubungan ini. Aku adalah seorang yang paling bertuah dalam dunia mendapatkanmu...

Wajahmu terbayang-bayang setiap hari ku tidak bersamamu. Setiap detik difikiranku aku memikirkanmu. Sehingga kini masih teringat wajahmu yang ayu dan lembut bagaikan sutera...

Sehingga kini, aku masih tidak boleh melupakan 21 haribulan pada setiap bulan. Ianya adalah hari paling bahagiaku kerana aku akan mengimbas kembali kali pertama aku mulakan hubungan kami...

Setiap hari semasa di sekolah, aku terpandang wajahmu. Hatiku sangat terluka. Dihatiku ada tersimpan sifat marah dan geramterhadapmu. Walaupun begitu, aku masih SAYANGKAN MU!!

Patutkah aku memdapati peluang sekali lagik? Haizz, aku KELIRU..!! Kasihku sampai disini cinta kita jangan tangisi. Aku anngap dirimu hanya suatu persinggahan sahaja...

GoNeCaSeNoMaD™

2007-02-28T14:21:00.000+08:00

It seems like i have some problems updating my blog... well the ferst reason is that im werking... and most of the time reached home at nite... well the other reason is that about my computer... it kept lagging... haizz... gonna find someone to help me with this...

haizz... well the reply for the Poly posting is still a week to go... i really hope that i can get to the course i wanna to go.... For those who is reading this, pls pray hard for me so that i can enter to the course i want and not to be left out....

hmm... im getting more and more to the reality... well for the past few days, i kept dreaming of her.. when i woke up, my love for her is getting greater everyday past.... haizz... what am i gonna do??? My courage, my will to admit my love is still missing from me... And i dunnoe how to get it back... looks like i will just be this way unless i find my courage to admit my love for her....

Well another update, another story.... NoMaD™

2007-02-21T14:38:00.000+08:00

HEY²..... well im so bored at hm might as well update.. hahax.... NW i just wanna noe who is still reading at my blog.... for those who have read it, pls tag.... hehe.....

ive been down lately and i dun noe y.... maybe there are still sumtin in my mind... BUT WAT IZZIT???? haizz... stress.... people always said that im really slow.... well i do admit it... the reason y is that ive been thinking alot these few days.... every single moment in my life, i am feeling uneasy.... always feeling that sumtin is not right...

I WISH THAT I CAN TELL U THAT I WANNA U... part of the lyrics in the song real love....
i really wish that i can tell u that but im scared... im afraid that i will end up being a heartbroken boy... that will make my life even worst.... haizz... wat the hell is happening.... well wat can i say... i just wanna only u and ur beautiful soul... but i guess its just in my dreams... maybe shes got sumone in mind.. maybe someone that is way better than me wanting to have her.... well thats my thoughts... i am looking down on myself.... cause i cant find the courage in me that had disappeared 3 years ago....

i guess thats it for today.... NoMaD back to fantasy... bye

2007-02-14T16:00:00.000+08:00

Fiyuh!!!!... what a luck.... i barely pass my exams... haizzz.... i and DK took our results in the GO due to prom nite money and for me school fees... then we go straight out of school to open our results.... Unbelivable, i got 23 points... hahax... better still, deduct my cca points, i got 19... thats a big WOW! ! ! for me...

NW it took me thinkin for a few days for the course i waana get in to... ive chose lats of engineering course.. i hope i got to one of it...
weel another day for another updates.. Chow now... hehe...

2007-02-09T01:27:00.000+08:00

Damn.... results is today.... its just a few hours away.... Cant sleep... thinking of wat will my future be like... haizz.... just now at werk, i was like in a sress mood.... trying to laugh whenever i can so that no one will notice me... but then michel notice me dreaming, looking sad... soon after, irna ask... they try to motivate me... good friends they are.... Well i hope to have a good results that i can be proud of....

Other then my results, someone kept appearing in my mind these few days.... What THE HELL! ! !why cant she be out of my head.... ive tried so hard to ignore my reality by staying in fantasy.. but ive failed.... i came across a phrase that i can rely on rite now... >> Livin’ might mean takin’ chances but they’re worth takin’,Lovin’ might be a mistake but it’s worth makin’,.... loving her IS a mistake but it's worth makin.... that is wat i can really agree on.... although i cant get rid of her in my mind, ill try not to make the same mistake again... well at least i will try....

Well, this is all for today... Wish me luck for my results...

GOOD LUCK FUDIN ! ! !

2007-01-15T02:12:00.000+08:00

The song i hope you dance might be boring.. but it is very interesting... Its memorable....

Its a memory of me going to the motivational workshop... The songs I Hope You Dance, When Angels Cry and When We Hold On Together will always be in my mind.... i reminds me of the sorrows that we face during the workshop together with Ramesh and the rest.... Not forgetting bout the story that we heard....

Well another time, another story.... Best Wishes.......

2007-01-15T02:11:00.000+08:00

I Hope You Dance

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....i hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin’ might mean takin’ chances but they’re worth takin’,
Lovin’ might be a mistake but it’s worth makin’,
Don’t let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin’ out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....i hope you dance.
I hope you dance....i hope you dance.
(time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

Dance....i hope you dance.
I hope you dance....i hope you dance.
I hope you dance....i hope you dance..
(time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone

2007-01-10T01:17:00.000+08:00

WHAT A START......

Its the start of something new
It feel so right to be here with you
And now looking in your eyes
I feel in my heart
A start of something new....

Well i guess its not all that is just in my fantasy....
Non of that will be in reality... i hate my life... new problems keep coming to me...
Its hard for me to handle the problems... especially the CLT pros... haizz... Its to much for me to handle.... ARGH!!!!!!!

Well today i was just walking in to century square, i saw Her together with her mom.... i was shock and just stand there about three metres away from her.... Lucky hazam laugh and walk towards the escalator... if not for that i will be standing there like ive seen a ghost.... from then onwards i didnt talk much.... still trying hard to forget her.... i wish i could...

Well another day has past with a shocker... i wonder what my reality be the next day.... for the time being, ill be in my fantasy....

________♣DreAmS&FanTaSiEs™♠________

♣DreAmS&FanTaSiEs™♠